needing advise wiv my two year old

[mumzy]

i have a two year old boy.its a long story but to cut it short here goes lol.other kids used to bully my son at play group and friends kids would hit him,now he is retaliating back but hiting them twice as hard and the parents dont like it.i tell him of all the time but he doesnt seem to listen as he now goes back for more.i dont want him to get hurt or to hurt others.wat should i do.please help.

[chatting in chatroom]

It sounds like hes had enough lol.  To be honest there are alot of things you can do to stop him from hitting back.  Time outs are quite good, if you are out and about though you will have to sit him on your lap for two min.  He will kick and screem and give out, but it has to be done.  I have found that my little fella behaves like this when he is out with someone else because they dont do anything, at this stage he needs to be shown how to interact with other children and if that means he has to be removed from play for being naughty so be it.  i notice with my fella that when he was being hit the other mums did nothing, and as bad as it was i decided that no matter who they were if they cannot speek to their kids about this then i will.  I got a few cross looks from ppl but i didnt care.  What this resulted in was the other kids new they had to answer to ppl other then their mums and my little fella knew that mummy will always have his back and he stopped hitting them and came to me instead when something happened. 

Most ppl will say that you should only deal with your own child but if your child isnt doing anything wrong he needs to know that mummy is there and thats who he goes to instead of hitting.  Of course you cant do this all their lives but from the age of 18 months to 3 years these are the important years where they learn social ediquitte, and ppl will say "they will learn themselves or grow out of it" they wont.  No person is born with this knowlegde just like walking they must learn this.  It will make their life alot easier later on if they learn it now.

My little fella is now three and behaves beautifully with out my supervision he occationaly will hit back but thats normal.

I hope this helped.

[dinkydo]

The tone of voice and facial expressions that you use are most important. I noticed that if you are calmly saying "no thats naughty"  They get confused because their language at this point isnt complete you have to have a big evil looking cross face and very sternly say "no" just one word so it doesnt confuse them.  You dont need to shout at them but be firm enough that if there is screeming around you they can hear you.  Once they then start behaving themselves change your face and voice.  A happy smiley face and a light tone of voice and simply say "well done"  Often i think if telling them off has no affect its not cos they are not listening or are naughty but rather they  have no idea what youre going on about lol.

[skatterbrains]

Gosh im just waiting for that stage lol, sounds like fun